


Triggered

by amberxwrites



Series: Hollyoaks Oneshots [7]
Category: Hollyoaks
Genre: Falling In Love, M/M, Trauma, both my boys are damaged, canon storyline but non canon scene, james actually caring about someone, johnny p getting triggered, scott is irrelevant, the reveal we should’ve gotten
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-03
Updated: 2020-12-03
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:47:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,091
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27866342
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amberxwrites/pseuds/amberxwrites
Summary: After getting close and personal with James, John Paul ends up having a mental breakdown after thinking back to the most traumatic time of his life.
Relationships: Finn O’Connor & John Paul McQueen, John Paul McQueen/James Nightingale, Scott Drinkwell/John Paul McQueen
Series: Hollyoaks Oneshots [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2019205
Comments: 2
Kudos: 9





	Triggered

**Author's Note:**

> set in 2016 boiis

"Please John Paul!" Scott begged, tugging my arm to stop me from leaving.

"You lied to me!" I growled, ripping my arm from his grip and storming out, slamming the door in his face. I let out a deep breath, my mind a mess as I thought back over everything that had happened these last few weeks.

I needed an escape.

I needed to get drunk and forget everything.

That's how I found myself in the alcohol section of Price Slice, picking out a good bottle of wine to keep me company for the night. The store was moderately empty, the only customers being me and another guy. Simone was waiting behind the counter, eyeing me suspiciously.

"John Paul? Are you alright? You seem stressed." She called, minor concern laced in her voice.

"I'm fine." I lied, trying out my most convincing smile, which most likely came across as more of a grimace.

"Lying to the working class? You must be having a rough day." The man beside me voiced, not once turning his attention away from the shelves full of bottles.

"What's it to you?" I grunted, grabbing a random drink and turning towards him. He spared me a glance, face unrecognisable as he eyed me up and down. He must've been new around here.

"Oh, I honestly couldn't care less. Just thought I'd humor you for a while."

"Well don't." I muttered, pushing past him to head to the counter.

"James Nightingale." He announced. I paused, turning to send him a confused look.

"My name's James Nightingale." He repeated, the name sounding familiar.

"Nightingale?"

He chuckled. "You might know my father Mac."

I nodded. "He owns the pub, doesn't he? I didn't know he had another son."

"Yeah well, he'd rather not mention me. Any chance he has to forget I exist, he'll be more than willing to take it."

I frowned. He didn't seem to care about what he had just admitted.

"So you're Nathan's brother, right? And Alfie's and Ellie's?"

"Correct. Not that we have much of a relationship."

"And why is that?"

He scoffed. "Are you some sort of shrink now?"

I rolled my eyes, turning back to the counter.

"Wait, I didn't get your name."

I ignored him, paying for my drink with some loose change I found in my pocket. Just as I was about to exit the store, I answered his question.

"John Paul McQueen."

~~~

He found me again once I was half way through the bottle. I had settled down on the bridge, needing a calm, quiet place to think. I was still angry at Scott so I couldn't go back to his. My mum had betrayed me so I refused to go home. I had nowhere else to go.

"Look at you. Drinking alone in your own despair."

I sighed as he approached, keeping my eyes on the village as he rested against the wall beside me.

"Don't you have someone else to judge?" I grumbled.

"I'm not judging you, John Paul. I've been there myself. Far too many times, to be exact. Staring at the bottom of an empty bottle is a lonely place to be."

"Yeah, well."

We stood in silence for a while, passing the bottle back and fourth between us. He pulled out another one once the wine had run out.

"How about you come back to mine so we can at least pour this into a glass instead of drinking out here in the cold?"

I considered his offer. Was I really about to go home with someone I didn't know? He had been less than inquisitive about my situation, opting to drink in silence instead of asking me why I was drinking at all. I really needed that. He wasn't nosey. Quite frankly, he didn't care.

I didn't want him to care.

Far too many people cared about me and it only ever ended with me getting hurt. Maybe James was the solution to all my problems?

"Sure thing."

He led me back to his, telling me to get comfortable on the sofa as he poured us both a glass. He handed me the drink, settling down beside me.

"Here's to the devastation that is real life."

"I'll drink to that." I exclaimed, clinking my glass against his. We both took a sip as he studied me once again.

"So, you're a McQueen, huh?"

I raised an eyebrow. "You say that like it's a bad thing."

"It's only bad if you're ashamed." He shrugged. "You the only boy?"

I nodded and he laughed.

"Literally nobody in your family likes girls, do they?"

"My dad's a lesbian."

He just stared at me. I couldn't hold back my laughter at his confused expression.

"Sally St. Claire is my dad."

He blinked. And blinked again.

"The headmistress?"

I nodded.

"What a revelation."

I chuckled, taking another sip.

"I found out that my boyfriend knew all this time and didn't tell me."

"So that's why you were drowning your sorrows in a bottle of cheap wine?"

I put down the glass, resting my head in my hands.

"I just wanted to forget."

"Well, there are other ways to forget.." I felt him shift closer as he trailed off. I lifted my head, breath hitching at how close we suddenly were. His eyes trailed down my face, lips pulled into a smirk.

"I have a boyfriend." I reminded him.

"One who kept this huge secret from you." He retaliated.

I thought about it. I actually thought about cheating on my boyfriend.

It's not like I've never done it before.

"Are you coming on to me?"

He smirked once more, reaching out to gently cup my cheek.

"What do you think?"

I bit my lip, eyes glued to his. Before I knew it, I was leaning in. He was leaning in too. Our lips were inches away.

And that's when _he_ took over.

_"You're a dirty faggot."_

_”Jumped up little queer.”_

I pulled back, squeezing my eyes shut to drown out the sound of _his_ sickening voice.

"What's wrong?"

"N-Nothing."

"Is it Scott?" He guessed. "You don't need him, John Paul. You deserve a real man."

_”I'm gonna show you who the real man is.”_

I jumped back, hands shaking and eyes watering.

"Don't say that! Don't you ever say that!"

"John Paul!"

I pressed my hands against my eyes, the voices getting louder and louder until they were the only things I could hear.

"I need to get out of here."

I ran out before he could say another word.

**Author's Note:**

> i’ll get round to writing a part 2 soon
> 
> “my dad is a lesbian” is the best sentence i’ve ever written


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